The Nightmare Begins Now....

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Every male in Singapore has to go through a really traumatic experience when he reaches 18, it's not his 2nd testicle finally dropping, nor is it that his raging hormones get out of control and burst out of his nose like a fountain. Every guy, say it with me now : THE ARMY. People say that army does things to you, weird shit and all. Fathers say, "Son, u r a man. So u must go army. Den can become independent and get bigger balls." Mothers say, "Don't argue with your dad.." After experiencing it myself, I can say that army really can make you see yourself, and see others at their rawest and most primitive form. One of the most obvious is: Are you meant for the army?

You're not meant for the army if:

1) On the first day of army, every guy brings his necessities, all bundled up in a small pack. You bring 5 bags: 1 contains ribena packs to last over the first 2 weeks of confirment; 2nd pack consists of technology (ipod, handphone, charger); 3rd pack consists of 15 pairs of underwear, 10 shirts, 20 pants; 4th pack contains all the medical supplies in case of illnesses such as diarrhoea, malaria and the common cold, and the last pack consists of a story book for you to last through the lonely hours at night.

2) When you're marching in a file for the first time, with all the bags on you, you're struggling to keep up with the rest of the group at the back of the file, and your sergeant comes over and helps you with one of the bags.

3) You shave your head for the first time, and go through a very big bitch fit, and refuse to look into the mirror. And for every subsequent shave, your bitch fit does not subside.

4) Most people march with their left arm and right foot out, and vice versa. However, you do the left foot, left arm, right foot, right arm marching formation, and wonder why people are staring at you like you got your zipper down.

5) You try to sling your rifle with your rifle barrel facing down towards the ground, but everytime it ends up facing the sky. You actually have to use maths and algebra to figure out which angle to sling your rifle before it faces the right direction. The others get it the first time without thinking.

6) Every night after a hard day of training, all the guys would sit around playing cards or sit at a corner reading guy magazines like FHM and Maxim, but u sit on your bed, ipod plugged into your ears, listening to the soothing voice of Pete Murray, and reading The Wheel Of Time by Robert Jordan.

7) After a bath, everyone walks around in shorts, but u walk around in a huge t-shirt and underwear, and everyone starts whistling at you, and coming over to touch your legs, just because you have smooth legs.

8) When camping out in the forest, while everyone is queueing up to refill their water bottles to quench their thirst, you take your filled water bottles, hide behind a tree, whip out your Biotherm Facial Scrub and start washing your face instead of drinking your water.

9) During breaks, everyone would be sitting on the grass or dusty ground eating their lunch, but you'll be in the crouching position, refusing to let your butt touch the ground, hoping that your uniform will stay clean throughout the 5 days in the jungle.

10) During training sessions, your sergeant calls you over, and he starts pouring his girlfriend problems to you, amd you two start having a guy to guy talk while the others are rolling in the mud and shouting "enemy ahead!!!!!"

11) For the 5 days out in the jungle, you refuse to shit, hoping that you'll last the entire 5 days holding the shit in. But on the 2nd day, you feel the "head" of your bown baby about to pop out, but you manage to squeeze it back in. By the end of the the fifth day, you rush back to camp, and not just your brown babIES are born, some of your intestines find their way in the toilet bowl as well.

12) You'll be the first to wake up every morning, but the last to mark attendance, thanks to the speed at which you move.

13) You order pizza for dinner during guard duty, and your sergeants pitch in for some, and everyone has a good time instead of standing guard.

Based on the signs mentioned above, I can confidently say that I'm not cut out to be a soldier, and thank god i survived it. The above mentioned scenarios were based on real characters, and should not be attempted unless in the presence of a stunt professional, especially the one with holding your shit in for 5 whole days.

Song of the Post - Welcome to the Black Parade by The Chemical Romance

I SCARED YOU @ 2:34 AM

Sunday, October 29, 2006

It's been so long since I last blogged, to be honest, i'm gonna pull the cord on this blog real soon, it's not really my style to blog in the first place.... Anyway, just finished studying for bio, exams coming up in a week, everyone seems really uptight and stressed about everything, except me. Guess it's because I started revising real early, knowing that there're tonnes of info to cram into my bulbous brain. The incentive to that is that i'm kinda relaxed, how i wish the exams were tomorrow, wanna get it over and done wif!

So, what have I been up to for the past 2 months? Well, went Gold Coast with my friends, too much to type out, so if u guys wan the low-down, I'd rather describe to u personally. After gold coast, it's just the same repetitive lifestyle everyday, school, home, school, home... Don't really wanna go out wif anyone, just wanna lie on my bed and think about random stuff, about life, death and everything in between, while blasting my itunes... Yesterday was the last day of school, people usually go out and get wasted or do other stuff other than studying, guess wat i did.... zzzzzzz till the evening. Refused to study, so I just stared at the computer, played minesweeper and lifted weights, haa.

If only I was a genius, den I wouldn't have to worry about my academic stuff, and just have fun al the way. But again, being a genius isn't always a good thing. You get ostracized, just because your IQ is a few numbers different from the masses, and people will eventually hate you out of jealousy. My sis told me that most geniuses have a slight psychological problem, such as autism etc. Symptoms include inability to communicate with people, incapable of adapting to new environment, and being anti-social. I have 2 out of the 3 of the above stated symptoms, and yet i'm not a genius, how fucked up is that?!

Argh... dunno wat to type, so many random thoughts in my mind... this might be my last post ever... until im able to clear my thoughts and have the mood to blog again... so long for now...

(Pics from Gold Coast)

I SCARED YOU @ 12:28 AM

Saturday, October 14, 2006

I've been buried in the sand
I've come down with no place to land
I don't need you to understand
It's not what I had planned

All the hunger, all the yearning
With the lifeline that you're burning
Poison lessons that you're learning
The road ahead is turning

Suicidal education
It got sold to our generation
Wake up to the manipulation
Wake up to the situation
Suicidal education

Stick together side by side
We no longer need to hide
From the darkness into the light
Now is your time

I need something to numb the pain
Forget me and forget my name
Waiting for the time to arrive
No one gets out of here alive

Suicidal education
It got sold to our generation
Wake up to the manipulation
Wake up to the situation
Suicidal education

I SCARED YOU @ 9:57 PM